Sermon Story I: Larry Peterson
John 10: 14-16
"I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me--just as the Father knows me and I know the Father--and I lay down my life for the sheep. I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd."
Sermon Text
I wish to begin and end my comments today by referring to Mother's Day, which we celebrate today. I want to wish every human sitting in this sanctuary a "Happy Mother's Day."
Introduction.
Today concludes a three-Sunday series on homosexuality. The first Sunday, Tom Davis explored what the concept and term "sexuality" means. Last Sunday I shared 6 stories of real experiences that gay men and women have had with their churches, all of these experiences were outside of Hanover. Today Gigi Gross, George Turner, and I-as members of Hanover--will share briefly our stories within the context of this congregation.
Before describing my experiences with this congregation, I decided to share a few sentences as background. My life before coming to Hanover included growing up in Kansas, going to Texas Christian University for 3 bachelors degrees--in Church Music, Organ, and International Affairs-and one masters degree in musicology (music history), working successfully towards a Ph.D. at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, study in Paris at the national conservatory, four years in the Air Force, and faculty appointments in New Jersey and Nashville, Tennessee. While stationed in Denver, I met Cindy whom I married and, and as many of you know, we have a son and daughter. The death of my father-in-law in May 1995 triggered an emotional breakdown. Initially I didn't understand what was happening to me. My only recurring thought was "I don't wish to live the rest of my life as I have lived it to this point." But I decided initially my problem was one of a low self-image I still would not utter the word "homosexual" nor admit that I might be that type of person.
During the summer of 1995, I was a faculty member at the Presbyterian Assoc. of Musicians conference in Montreat, NC and while browsing in the bookstore there one day, I picked up a book, returned to my room and read it from cover to cover. The book is John McNeill's The Church and the Homosexual, a book written by a Roman Catholic priest that interprets the various passages in the Old and New Testaments that are frequently cited as being anti-homosexual. That book gave me great comfort. And I guess that was the second catalyst in my coming out because I had no doubts whatsoever that I was a creation of God, loved by God, and I carried no guilt whatsoever if I were bisexual or homosexual.
As I indicated last week, I came to Hanover because I sought a church that would be gay-friendly. I was very impressed by the presence of the gay youth group that Patrick Evans was facilitating. I commented to the organist search committee in response to the question "Why are you interested in leaving First Presbyterian in Newark to come to Hanover?" that I thought Hanover was the "church of the future." By that I meant that the support for the African-American community and the gay/lesbian community suggested an integrated congregation that was truly supportive of all diversity. At the urging of Tom and Alice Davis, I shared in an Adult Sunday School class on diversity here at Hanover my story of coming out to my wife and children and life afterwards. The responses of Karl Green and others who attended that class were very affirming and supportive.
In general, my experiences at Hanover have been positive. I expressed my gratitude in the Herald a couple of months ago for the loving way members of this congregation supported me through my recent surgery and recuperation. Alice spent an afternoon playing cards with me. Karen Zahnow and Jill McCracken changed my bed linen and washed my laundry. Peg Showalter brought me lunch. Kay Twing kept checking in to see if I needed anything. Ben and Val Cabell visited me in the hospital. I felt truly accepted and blessed. Charlie and Norma Reid as well as Lorie Tudor, Nancy Libby, and Eloise Downing among others have been very loving and caring about me personally as well as frequently commenting positively about the music ministry. And certainly many others have repeatedly expressed their support of the music program: Dot and Jack Brand, Margaret Hallett, the Heidemans for example. There have been others and I apologize that I am not listing everyone. In mentioning specific names I run the risk of omitting people and I apologize for the omissions. Like Patrick Evans before me, I have come to love Hanover and the members of this congregation. My only disappointment is that I have been unsuccessful in getting my gay friends to attend Hanover. Last year, we held a dinner at the home of Tom and Alice Davis for six gay men whom I hoped to interest in Hanover. We had a wonderful evening discussing spiritual issues and concerns but none of the men decided to worship with us. I hope to see that change. In conclusion, I will share that I certainly feel welcomed and affirmed here.
As I mentioned at the beginning of these comments that I wish to begin and end with references to Mother's Day, I wish to end by saying that I just came out to my own mother around Labor Day last year. She has been loving and supportive of me and my new partner Rich. She asks about him when we talk; she sends him her love via email and calls him "sweetie" on the phone! I feel truly blessed.
Sermon Story III: George Turner
Good Afternoon:
Someone told me that they heard that I was going to be "OUTED" today. Well, sorry to disappoint you but that's not going to happen. No, I am not gay, however I don't believe that you have to be gay to support the rights and privileges of gay and lesbian people. Neither do I condone discrimination, whether it's against someone because of the color of his or her skin or because they are gay or lesbian, it is wrong. I asked myself the question, how can I be true to my faith and discriminate against an individual or a group of people for being who they are? I believe that as human beings, we are all spiritually connected and should learn to love and connect to that humanity which is within each and every one of us.
I believe those lines from the Declaration of Independence that reads " that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator, with certain unalienable rights, among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness." Although I don't believe that they had me in mind when they wrote these words, I, as a citizen of this country, lay claim to all of the rights and privileges contained in this document and I support other individuals and groups that strive for these same freedoms, and that includes people who are gay or lesbian.
I wasn't always this way. I am a victim, along with the rest of us, of a society that says that it's all right to treat people differently because they are gay or lesbian. And although I have never been one to call people names, I went along with the various innuendoes and laughed the jokes aimed at people who are gay or lesbian. What troubles me most is that because of my actions or inaction, I have participated in the role of the oppressor group and it doesn't feel good.
As an African American, in this country, I have been discriminated against. And I know how it hurts to not be accepted, to be the butt of the jokes and, at times, alienated from the majority of those who make up our society.
It wasn't until I started leading workshops on eliminating racism that I started seeing parallels, in discrimination against people of color because of who we are, and discrimination against people who are gay or lesbian, because of who they are. The circumstances are different, but the dynamics are the same.
During these workshops, one question that we often ask is what does it mean to be white? And more often than not, the answer is, I never really had to think about it. Well, as a straight person, I've never had to think about being gay. It wasn't until I intentionally began to think about it, I realized how unfairly people who are gay or lesbian are being treated.
Story: I have lead workshops with high school age students for the YWCA Study Circle program. In our workshops, this subject almost always comes up and what concerns me is that the children often mimic their parents in their ideas about gays and lesbians. During this one workshop, in a popular private school in Wilmington, I tried an experiment. There were about 20 students and 3 teachers present. I asked everyone to close their eyes and when they opened their eyes they were either gay or lesbian. Everything else in their lives remained the same. As they slowly opened their eyes, I could tell that I had caused them to start thinking about something that they had probably not had never had to think about before. As they started to open their eyes I asked them what they were feeling. The first one that spoke up was a female teacher. She first said, "the first thing that I would have to do is tell my children." Then she said "O, I guess I'd have to tell my husband." Then another female teacher said, "I would have to leave town. I would have to move someplace that would be more acceptable to gay and lesbian people like San Francisco." Next, a male teacher spoke up, and said, "I couldn't teach here, I?d have to get a job someplace else." And all of the teachers agreed that they couldn't continue to teach there and would have to find work at another location. Finally, one of the students spoke up, a boy, who said, very sadly, "I wouldn't have any friends." The rest of the students were quiet, just thinking of how their lives would be changed and I was thinking, how very sad, knowing that there's a high probability that there are some people who are gay or lesbian, who are teachers or students, having that experience every day.
